By Kirsten Hernandez, Editor
Photos by Jess Kung, Editor-in-Chief (who is ashamed)
It’s nearing the end of the school year. If you’re a student, the majority of your money has probably gone toward tuition payments, parking tickets and your friendly neighborhood dispensary. This is true even of the 22 West Magazine staff. Many of us work long, hard hours to put out good content for you (be grateful!) and occasionally don’t have time for a food break. Because of this, our editor-in-chief dedicated an entire drawer at our HQ for snacks.
The issue is, none of the snacks that have been shared in the drawer are, putting this delicately, edible. Keep in mind, this is coming from someone who used to ration ramen packets in order to pay the Netflix bill. Here’s an itemized description of the contents of the drawer:
Two packs of “oriental” flavored ramen: First off, the snack drawer is not the place on campus where I expected microaggressions. Second, if we look closely at the expiration date on these racist noodles, we’ll see that their peak was in November 2017! While our pocketbooks aren’t too bountiful, I’m sure we could probably spring a few bucks to buy ramen that’s not older than the company we work for.
Mashed potato cups: Probably the best selection out of the drawer, but the best of the worst is pretty damn bad. When taken out to investigate, I noticed a layer of dust over the top of the plastic cup cover. Luckily for us, these taters have enough preservatives to last through a nuclear disaster.
UCLA gummies: In the words of “Mean Girls” iconic philosopher Damian,“She doesn’t even go here!” While tasty, it shows a complete lack of loyalty to the university that pays our checks and gives an okay-ish education on the cheap. It also has me pondering the question “What would a CSULB gummy look like?” We think they’d probably be in the shape of a broken escalator.
Overall, is it the worst food ever? I ate dorm food for a year, so I’m obliged to say no. I will say, though, that it’s telling that this kind of food shares a drawer with file separators.