Illustration by Anna Sams

Clown in my Closet

By Mila Le

There’s a clown in my closet
And I won’t set him free
Perhaps it’s the fear of him
Hurting someone like how he hurt me

At the circus we laugh
During moments of our life
Where we wish for an escape
Of all things rife

But when the show comes to an end
And we are left without light
The circus becomes silent
And the clown creeps into the night

Lured me in with his warm smile
And his sleeves, full of color
But only some know
Of the dark secrets hidden in his big, red honker

To put on a show was his only purpose
So he used me for laughter
Made a clown out of me
So he could be the ringmaster

I balanced on trapezes for him
Without a safety net
Every day I risked my sanity
Just to be full of regret

The clown used to make me feel
A little less ugly, a little less lonely
A little less
of a phony

But now the clown makes me feel
Like I never needed an escape from reality