Illustration by Arielle Zepeda

Skadoosh My Heart

By Lauren Galvan

It was a Wednesday morning during the first week of the spring semester. I can remember it so clearly. It was my first day, and I was late for class because I got lost looking for the right room. You were the mysterious seven-foot-something bear of a man, striking a pose in the Fine Arts 4 Building at Long Beach State University, and I was the one that couldn’t stop staring at how majestic and graceful you looked.

It felt as though you and I were the only ones in the room and that nothing else mattered. I haven’t been able to stop thinking of you since. I wanted to say something to you, but I was too nervous about you not feeling the same way.

You had fine white and black hair that covered your body from head to toe. I was the curly-haired girl with glasses and hearts in her eyes. Also, I couldn’t help but notice the little smirk or smolder you were giving me as I walked by. I dream of that smirk. In fact, I was so distracted by it that I tripped and I was so embarrassed, but you didn’t even laugh, you just smiled at me without a hint of judgment. It’s like you know what it feels like to be different. You know what it’s like to not fit in.

Call me crazy, but I feel like I wasn’t alone in feeling a spark because you didn’t move a muscle the entire time. It was like you were frozen in time with me. Also, I honestly have no idea how you held that pose for so long, you must do yoga or something. You didn’t even look strained, and I swear I never even saw you breathe. You looked so at peace. Maybe you could teach me sometime. Honestly, you didn’t move a single muscle, it was like you were a statue or something. Listen to me! I sound ridiculous.

I don’t know what it was, but I felt like I’ve known you my whole life, or since 2008, and that we were like characters in a movie. We were a real-life Romeo and Juliet, and nothing could come between us. When I first laid eyes on you, it felt like I finally found inner peace.

I don’t know what it was, but I feel like you are someone who could protect me, care for me, and make sure I am fed throughout the day. You probably give great big bear hugs, and I can’t think of anything more perfect. I did think it was a bit strange that you weren’t wearing a shirt or shoes, but that just tells me that you are a free soul who no one can tell what to do.

I couldn’t help but notice how big your hands were, although now that I think about it, they were more like paws. However, you definitely need to do something about those long claw-like fingernails. Nonetheless, I dream (works) about those hands and all I want to do is Wuxi finger hold your hands more than anything. Is that embarrassing to admit?

To be honest, I thought it was strange when a random person walked up and slapped your foot as you did your stance, but maybe he was just a friend. I’ve been too scared to return to the Fine Arts Building, but maybe once I work up the courage, I will see you again. I pray you will be there. Maybe we could even go out to eat or something. I know a great dumpling spot if that’s what you are into.

I know there is a very small chance that you will ever see this, but I thought I would try. So, if you felt the same connection that I did that day in the Fine Arts 4 Building, you can email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. I will be waiting for you, dragon warrior of my heart. With all my heart, I believe we were truly a missed connection.

A wise man once told me, “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.” I think his name was Oogway or something. I can’t remember.

P.S. I hope none of this scared you away! And if anyone knows him, please reach out to me.