By Jude De Luna
This month, you might want to pull some totally crazy pranks. You wild animal! Here’s an outrageous list of savage af jokes to play on the people in your life. Get some laughs and have some fun.
- Talk to and visit your parents!
It’s been a while since you’ve talked to your parents, right? Wouldn’t it be insane if you actually called them back and let them know about how you’re doing? You’ll definitely surprise them! Even crazier – going back home and giving them a hug. Make sure to bring them flowers to really seal the deal.
- Do all of the chores in your home!
You and your housemates have been extremely busy lately, and the toll of an unkempt home is noticeably getting worse on all of you. All of the dust piling up on the furniture, the dishes in the sink, the trash cluttered in the rooms, or the laundry that should’ve been done weeks ago? Take care of it all by yourself! I bet your housemates will FLIP.
- Ask your friends how they’re doing!
Your friends have been looking a little down lately. Maybe it’s the school work, their actual work, or personal matters. Take the time out of your day to be there for them and listen to their rants. It can help for the better, but that doesn’t matter. Ultimately it’s an intense prank that only you can pull off!
- Participate in class!
When your professor asks a question and it’s dead silent amongst you and your classmates, step up to the plate! Even if you get an answer wrong, who cares? You’ll be memorable as the class clown. Also, try interacting with your classmates! Instead of bolting to the door the second it’s time to go, stick around and talk about what a hoot the class is. I guarantee you’ll get them for sure!
- Put premium gas in your friend’s car!
Gas is so expensive nowadays at almost $7 a gallon. Imagine your friend’s surprise when they see a full tank of the most expensive and premium option! Their face will be hilarious. Also, this is a bonus prank on your bank account! The bank will call you about this suspiciously large purchase but you can laugh right in their ear and tell them all about this wacky prank. They’ll definitely laugh right back with you and note this down for their future shenanigans.
- Get revenge on all of the people who have slighted you.
There they are again. It could be the person who didn’t hold the door open for you. It could be the person who pushed you when they walked past you. It could be the person who cut you off when you were just about to get on the escalator. Either way, none of these people respect you. Why should you respect them?
Here’s what you do. First, you befriend them. Go up to them and strike a conversation. Surely, they won’t remember when they first wronged you, so they’ll be friendly. But, you remember. You always remember.
Plan to get closer to them. Of course, you’re sacrificing your dignity as you hang out with them, but you’re playing the long game. Build the most meaningful relationship of your life with this person. Share your deepest and darkest secrets. Create new memories and make plans for the future with them. It will be so funny. Do some innocent gag along the way, like a couple of the pranks listed above. They’ll laugh and say you’re the most hilarious friend they’ve ever had and that they’re glad to have you in their life, but remind yourself of your true intentions. Never let your guard down.
This final step is the most important. Ghost them. Ghost them completely and don’t look back. Block everything related to them on all platforms, even their mom that you promised to play badminton with. Take back what once was yours: your pride and self-respect.
One day, you’ll be walking, minding your business, but you’ll see them once again. They’ll look at you in disbelief and try to go up to you, but you can just cackle at their misery and walk away. You won. No one will ever dare to slight you again.
- Take care of yourself (*^▽^*)!
After spending your time cooking up some wild jokes, you might be wondering how to end your hilarious escapades. However, there is one more person that you forgot to prank: yourself! Do something for yourself that you wouldn’t normally do. Order your favorite takeout, prepare a bubble bath, and listen to your favorite music. ULTIMATE PRANK!